Me (Reading this season’s CostCo catalogue): Oooh, Costco have a discount on Pianos. Can I have a Piano?

Him (paying something less than 100% attention as he focusses on the latest goings-on in Weatherfield): Yes, mmmm.

Me (sensing I can probably get a yes to anything at this point): Can I have a puppy? (I’ve longed for a puppy for ages)

Him (sobering up): Absolutely not.

Me: But a puppy takes up far less room than a piano.

Him: Yes, but a piano doesn’t shit on the sofa.

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